Today I'm wandering around lost in sadness from my sister's leaving. I let her into my most personal spaces, the places I built for myself to help me cope with living a life without her on a daily basis. I did this knowing how empty those same places would be in her absence. But to have her here was just too precious to me, and when I'm done crying in every space she occupied in my house, I will feel the steadiness of her presence. She is my guiding light, my confidante, my most trusted advisor, and silliest friend. My big sister has lit the path before me, making sure that I missed the pitfalls that she faced, or walked me through them without judgment if I fell into them anyway. And I accept it all gratefully, fully knowing that there was no one there to do it for her. I am the person that I am, and especially the mother that I am, because she guided me, fed me, scolded me, and especially loved me. And oh how my children adore their precious Auntie. How could anyone not?
And now I want to say a heartfelt thank you to my blog friends who sent me kind thoughts during and after the visit, especially mamma and Tam. You let me know you would miss me and that you would be waiting for me. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Because whether you know it or not, that is one thing I knew would help me through these first few lonely days when I would be catching my breath again. I've said this before, that we've only "known" each other for a few short months, yet your friendship is very valuable to me. We've never met in person, yet I feel genuine love and concern for you and from you.
Thank you, my friends. I love you.