Tonight brings back such sweet memories for me. It was one year ago that I woke up in the middle of the night with a tightness in my belly. Was that a contraction? No, I still have two weeks to go...wait, there it is again. I think I'll get up and walk around just in case. I don't even have a bag packed...
By the time I woke the Count up I was on my hands and knees in pain. I told him I wanted to shower before we left, and he just laughed and loaded my very pregnant self into the car. By the time we got to the hospital I was dilated to 6cm, and Sproutie was born an hour and a half later.
Did I ever tell you that I thought I wanted him to be a girl? We chose not to find out the gender, but I was secretly hoping. And Girlie said she wanted a sister. As much as I love my own sister, I wanted that for her too.
In the middle of labor my doctor said the baby's hand was out, and you know what that means? It means it's a girl, because they always have their hands out, haha. But I was so deep in labor I didn't get the joke. And then the nurse that was coaching me to push kept saying, "That's a GIRL! That's a GIRL!" and I thought she was telling me the baby was a girl, not just encouraging me. So I was so happy to have what I thought I wanted. Then they held Sproutie up and he most definitely was NOT a girl. They handed him to me, and in my confusion, I...I cried.
There is a line from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing that says:
Don Pedro: "...and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. "
Beatrice: "No, sure, my lord, my mother cried...but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born."
And that's how I feel about Sproutie's birth. I imagine a little star so happy in the sky knowing all that lies ahead of us. And dancing for it.
When I held that little bundle and looked into those sweet brown eyes, any thoughts of wanting him to be a girl just melted away, and it was just me and my baby, and all was right with the world.
Of course now I can't imagine life any other way. This little boy was so meant to be.
Happy 1st birthday, Sproutie. Your mommy loves you so much.